Hello, Dolly! Nice Melons!

Well, I haven’t reviewed a country album yet, and what better gal to start off with than Miss Dolly Rebecca Parton?

Hello Dolly! This woman is a phenom! She was raised dirt poor with 11 siblings in Tennessee in a one room cabin so don’t be bitchin’ cuz your internet is slow. There’s nothing she can’t do! She sings, she acts, she does good things for people and she’s funny as all get out! Hell – She has composed over 3,000 songs!! What have you done today? Not to mention she has a great set of…..pipes. Stop it, people.

One of my first mammaries, I mean, memories of her was seeing her in The Best Little Whore House in Texas. Yep. Sure was. Ain’t nobody can pull off classy whore like Dolly Parton. That and 9-to-5. Because who doesn’t love Lily Tomlin AND Dolly Parton together! Stickin’ it to Dabney Coleman – that’s why I picked 9 to 5 and Odd Jobs. 

ALBUM: 9 to 5 and Odd Jobs, Dolly Parton, RCA Records, 1980

If I had my druthers, I would have picked ‘Hello, I’m Dolly’ (circa 1975) but I don’t have that album.

I went with 9 to 5 because I like the movie and the song. It’s a concept album about, you guessed it, WORKING. Who among us, hasn’t wanted to get even with their boss? Stick it to the man! I’ve worked in an office for over 20 years and I can say I love you Dolly! I mean how many times have we all wanted to pull out a gun and shout “I can turn you from a rooster to hen in one shot!” No? Just me? Well Doralee did it and that’s good enough for me.  So, the album starts off with the title track 9 to 5 – spunky, fun song bitchin’ about the woes of a shitty office life, being harassed and being passed over cuz we ain’t got a wang. I feel ya sister. We’ve come a long way baby, but not that long. Sorry dudes but this shit is still happening. I call bullshit. The tide’s gonna turn, baby. The tide’s gonna turn. Hush-A-Bye Hard Times is about being poor. It’s woeful and sad. Being poor sucks. Start a savings account today!  She covers the folk song House of the Rising Sun and is a top pick on the album because she sings it her way and it is beautiful. Who else can sing about a place of bawdy, ill-repute and make it sound like butter? Deportee is a song written by Woody Guthrie. It was written as a protest song about the mistreatment of migrant workers who were being deported when their plane crashed and they died. It’s a haunting song and she makes you feel the loss when she sings it. Sing for The Common Man is a big shout out to the average Joe who works his ass off everyday and never gets props. Flip that record over and you have Working Girl.  Man,  this is such a great song. I think this song will hit home for a lot of working women out there. This could be any of us – working hard to get to the top and some people not appreciating it along the way, thinking because we know what we want and work hard to get there that we are aggressive or some BS like that. We are more than our jobs though – “She’s a working girl, she’s single and free, She’s a mother and a wife and she’s proud to be a working girl” (Not THAT kind of working girl!). Detroit City was written by Mel Tillis and is a song about a dude leaving his home (probably in the sticks) and heading to Detroit City to build cars. His family thinks he’s successful but all he really wants is to go home to his kinfolk. Screw You Motor City!! But You Know I Love You is about a travelin’ man having to leave someone he loves to get a paycheck – yep, those bills ain’t gonna pay themselves. Gotta do what ya gotta do. Dark as a Dungeon is quite the peppy, upbeat song. NOT! It’s a freaking soul wrencher of a song. It’s about coal miners and how bad it sucks being in the mines. Seriously somber shit. “Where the rain never falls and the sun never shines, it’s dark as a dungeon way down in the mine. I hope when I’m gone and the ages shall roll my body will blacken and turn into coal. Then I’ll look from the door of my heavenly home and I’ll pity the miners a-digging my bones” – go back and read that again. I’ll wait. I will never bitch about any job ever again. I have a new found respect for coal. The album ends with Poor Folks Town. If ever you need reminding that money can’t buy happiness, listen to this song. You can be broke as as a joke but if you got love you’re plenty rich! Listen to Dolly because she’s been dirt poor; she knows! “Have a look around at rich folks living in a poor folks town. We got no money but we’re rich in love, that’s one thing we got a-plenty of’. It’s all about perspective, people. Get yours straight.

While this isn’t my favorite album, it’s Dolly Parton. It’s great songs written about working and I think it resonates with all of us working stiffs in one way or another. It’s a little too pop-country for me but I love her voice no matter. So at the end of the day, when you’re shift has ended, put on this album and appreciate what you have and crack open a beer – raise one to the working folk!

BEER: Rivertown Brewery, Nice Melons, Sour Berliner Weiss, 3.8% ABV, Cincinnati, Ohio 

Aaaah The PERFECT PAIR – Dolly Parton and Rivertown’s Nice Melons! No, not for THAT reason…my gosh. Cuz they’re both sweet and awesome! Lol. Ok, who am I kidding?  

Now, I’m not a big sour fan (as of current post). I’ve tried quite a few. I try to give all beer styles a fair shake. Rivertown has capitalized on the sour train and they do it quite well, if sours are your thing. I’ve had their Divergent several times and IT IS SOUR. It’s a great mixing beer in my humble opinion. Try it with Fat Head’s Bumbleberry. You’ll thank me. So, Nice Melons. I’ve had it at the tap house and now in the bottle. It pours a beautiful golden color and it is fizzy-pretty. Like the finest of champagnes from France but not like that cheap ass Prosecco shit your Great Aunt Mary gave you on Christmas. I actually like this one. It’s tart but not where I’m sucking in my cheeks and shivering. It’s just a nice tartness and a really balanced watermelon flavor. I can drink this one. Would I pound them? No. But it’s a nice sippin’ beer to be sure. It would be great in summer but since I suck and waited til winter to drink it, this is where I’m at. I’ve had several watermelon beers and this is one of two that I will drink (the other is Ballast Point Watermelon Dorado). It doesn’t have that weird fake fruity taste. This beer is light – and when I say light I mean like very light. It’s a Berliner Weisse and typically that style is around 3% ABV. Don’t let it freak you out in terms of Bud Light “Light” – this one doesn’t taste like watery piss. Little story about the name: I happen to know they got a lot of flack for the name. Why? Because people suck and can’t handle snark. There are NO TITTIES on this label. None. Not a single tit. Not double tits. NO TITS whatsoever!  So who the hell would be offended besides the Westboro Baptist Church and the head of the PTA?? Who knows. It was named by a female FFS! Look, I like to consider myself a feminist but I’ll admit I like a well executed, snarky, sometimes offensive beer label. I do. Leg Humper, Tramp Stamp, Raging Bitch, Little Sumpin’ Sumpin’ – I don’t give a shit what you call your beer as long as it’s drinkable. I mean I might draw the line at you calling your beer “ Your Dead Grandmother’s Phlegm Bag”.  Okay, I would probably actually buy it just because you named it that. Anyhow, I think if you’re venturing into the sour world, this would be a great starter sour beer. But it is seasonal, so good luck finding it right now. Check out their taproom (if you’re local) – they have a really nice Pear Lambic on tap. Hell, try them all!

Rivertown Brewery and Barrel House
607 Shepherd Dr Unit 6
Cincinnati, OH  45215

Now, Go put on some Dolly and crack open Nice Melons! The perfect pair!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *